As brinksmanship in the field of child-naming continues apace in the Bay Area, a Berkeley couple has introduced an infant with one of the most formidable monikers ever squeezed onto a birth certificate. Estimated to contain at least thirteen elements and some two-dozen syllables, the distinguished title was revealed in a baby shower invitation sent to the duo's circle of flailing PhD candidates.
"Please join us in celebrating," read the card, "Austin 'Tootsie' Hernandez-Kuntz-Diamante, AKA Big Bob McClintock." The new parents, who themselves go by "Tim" and "Jenny", also provided a reminder that there are severe penalties for anyone who gets it wrong, along with an online tutorial to help remember the steps.
Reactions to the family's branding initiative were mixed. "Technically it's a run-on sentence," said one acquaintance, who wished to remain anonymous for fear of reprisals. "I wish we thought of that," lamented Jane Cox, a close friend. "Our own son's appellation, though a mouthful, now looks threadbare in comparison. We worry he might be picked on."
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